20 weeks, quiet time, and a big day

I'm excited to enter my 20th week and know that I'm half way through my pregnancy. Unfortunately with everything that has transpired over the last week and a half I've had a hard time being excited about a whole lot due to nerves and the waiting. And while I've been home on bed rest over the last week I have to admit that I wasn't doing a good job of enjoying quiet time with God. Yes I was laying in bed watching four season of How I Met Your Mother and a plethora of other shows that were DVRd, but I wasn't opening the word and seeking His words until Friday evening. God really convicted me that I needed to get back into scripture on a daily basis and spend some quiet time with him.  And so I grabbed my prayer journal and my Bible and have relished in my quiet time with Him the last few days. The scripture that my fingers touched poured out into my heart and I felt my built up walls (from the last couple of weeks) crumple and His peace cover my heart. It's what I've needed and I'm so thankful that I was obedient and didn't tune his beckoning out. I thought I would share a few of the verses that I have continued to read over and over the last few days:

• Psalm 42:5 Why are you downcast O my soul? Why so disturbed within me. Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior, and my God
• Psalm 62:5 Find rest, o my soul, in God alone my hope comes from Him.
• Exodus 15:2 The Lord is my strength and my song: He has become my salvation. He is my God and I will praise Him. My father's God and I will exalt Him.
• Exodus 15:13 In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.

Even now as I sit and read over them I'm so thankful that I can rely on God's strength and not my own.  I think I often try so hard to rely on my own "strength" when really God is just patiently waiting for me to rely on His.  And so as my Monday begins with Him I am trying to be quiet this morning and as I get ready to head to the hospital for more appointments and another ultrasound. 

The good news we received on Thursday was that my blood cultures and titers came back negative. There were two titers that were still in a preliminary status on Thursday so we should get those results today. This mornings appt we will discuss next steps with my OB.  I was getting excited because as of Thursday my pain in my uterus was at a 3/4 and I thought it was going away. However after moving around Friday-Sunday the pain has intensified and I don't know why. I'm hopeful that we will get more answers this morning and direction on what needs to happen next. Following my appt we will head to radiology for an ultrasound where they will do the 20 week ultrasound and look at the organs and other things. One of the things the doctor shared with us is if the infection I have is an external uterine infection that it will have already crossed the placenta and there can be a negative impact to the baby. I'm not sure when/how they can determine if the baby has been affected...it's one of my many questions for my OB this am. 

Aside from all of the above we had a really nice weekend as a family. The boys are getting ready to head back to school and decided to tackle their supply list this weekend in hopes of avoiding the crowds and picked through supplies. Our plan worked and the boys have everything they need minus red pencils. I think my favorite part of that experience was Ky holding my hand across the parking lot twice. He is such a daddy's boy and always wants to walk with Chad and for some reason he got out of the car and grabbed my hand right away during our shopping trip and it just melted my heart. Something so small but means so much. I also picked out matching onesies and shirts for the boys...it's a really cute motorcylce shirt that will look adorable on all three. And as I shared with chance that if I'm wrong and I'm carrying a girl we can always accessorize with a cute black hair bow. That being said I'm positive I'm carrying another boy. :) Hopefully we will receive confirmation today. Well I should get going and get organized before we leave in a bit.