" I am the Lord. I change not." Malachi 3:6

Saturday, August 31, 2013

It's been awhile!

After having Harper I had every intention of blogging at a minimum of three times a week and wanted to capture everything and can't tell you how many blogs posts I written in my head....that being said my sweet girl will be eight months old in a week...and oh how God has moved.

These past eight months have been life hanging in SO many ways....I desperately want to capture all of the changes here but know I will fall short...but I am going to try (again..)..)while on maternity things didn't go as I planned. I laugh as I type these words because I know God had other plans. Going into leave my wonderful friend Mich and I had our leave planned...down to Starbucks and mall walking...and I remember moments leaving up to our daughters births like camera clicking...and then the world came tumbling down...Mich's daughter was born and needed a heart and Harper was born healthy and we came home and Mich did not...and the feelings were vast and a nightmare...we were supposed to enjoy our new daughters together and yet they came to our home to meet h and weren't able to bring their little lady with. And over the past eight months God has moved....there have been many tears and many moments of silence, screams, tears of joy, crushing hugs, and moments with our families that will forever been engrained in the footprints of our lives.

Little h has changed my life in so many ways...I cherished every minute home with her...every and met some amazing women a a mom's group at our church...women who I had no intention of meeting but even for a season...that season....they touched my heart and changed me...and God moved..and then I returned to corporate America and cried my eyes out for weeks....because leaving my daughter was painful....but God moved and placed someone in our lives to love on her during the day and a new normal was created. People have asked since I returned to work "has it gotten easier"...and my answer is No...it hasn't...but I know with a peace that only God provides that I am where he wants me in this moment and I cherish every moment at home with her and the boys.

I have faced some intense life events these past few months and during them have been blessed by a friendship whose authenticity has humbled me time and time again. I've lived my life with walls and barriers up higher than mountains and slowly they have crumbled as friendships have grown to something only God creates. Without them I not know where I'd be today..I really don't...

The next few months will bring more changes but we know that God is covering our family and are waiting on Him and doing our part...and letting Him move..