Choosing Joy!

It's been interesting being homebound for the past 32 days. Mind you if I had my mobility I would be a cleaning freak and organizing everything because I love to both. It would also give me plenty of time to make some of my recipes that are piling up. unfortunately my time as home has been none of the above. I have to keep my foot elevated and am not to be up more than 15 minutes for every hour. So it's been a challenge for this mama who is constantly struggling with a false sense of "control". But the challenge has turned to one of joy. The time at home being still has given me the opportunity to spend a lot of time in prayer and have some amazing talks with Chad. It's given me time to play 15 games of connect four with my sons night after night. I've been able to spend time with my girlfriends talking as they stop over to say hi. What started off as hurdle has turned into a blessing. And for that I am choosing joy. I will not let the devil be victorious this time. And believe it would be easy too at times. I feel like a marshmellow having not worked out in 32 days. But you know the gym will be there when I am mobile and until then I'm thankful for each day he is giving me at home. The extra sleep has been nice and not commuting 3 hours three times a week has been great. So this morning i am enjoying a wonderful cup of coffee, smiling, and thankful that God's patience and love is unconditional. Because i don't deserve it..not even one bit. But i'm so humbled and thankful for it. Here's to choosing joy today and every day! Blessings!

Catching up...

I can't believe how long it has been since I actually sat down and wrote a post! I stop by at least a handful of times every week with every intention of writing a post and often begin one in my head but haven't been able to get one down on paper.  And to be honest I don't think it's a bad thing. I think back to when I started my blog and looking back am in awe of what God used this blog for. I truly feel that he brought Angie Smith's blog into my life to peek my interest and create my own. Little did I know that I would follow her and a couple of other women's blog and find myself in a simliar situation. That situation being one of loss. It was after Mason's death that I often would write for hours most of the time crying as I did. But the outlet this blog provided was profound for me. I didn't feel judged and felt like I could write my story and give it up to Him. Almost a year ago I felt like the Holy Spirit was prompting me to write this season of my life down in a condensed version to share with our church. I even talked to our pastor about it and was thrilled. But I didn't nor have I made the time to sit down and do it.  The funny thing is the Holy Spirit has continued to softly speak to me about doing it to the point that I hear it over and over now.  And now I have nothing but time. I fell down my garage stair (that's right one stair) on Feb 4th and broke my foot in four places. And can't go anywhere... I have a boot and crutches and am supposed to used the crutches at all times. This has brought my daily commutes to Chicago to a screaching halt and my travel plans for Feb/March went up in smoke.  But I had to laugh... I laugh because I know that God knows me all too well and knows that often times I have to be physically stopped to listen and be obedient.  Which brings me back full cirlce to my post today.  I've started reading my posts back from the beginning all the way to today and really make sure that i'm capturing all that needs to be shared.  I'm not a public speaker and honestly talk really fast when I get nervous. BUT i know that God has called me to share my story with others.  I know that He can move mountains and provide a peace that passes all understanding. I know this because he moved mountains in my life and has given me a joy that I know only comes from him. So i'm going to ask you to pray for me as I spend time in His word and rereading my posts. I know that reading them will bring up many painful days but I feel that I am in a place of peace and can be used for His kingdom.  I don't even know if any of you still follow since it's been so long but thought I would ask. The power of prayer is so amazing.  More posts to come as our family has enjoyed a wonderful six months! I still have my Napa trip to documents, our trip to South Carolina, and Disney over Christmas. So alot of my posts will be me catching up but I don't want to loose the memories we've made. I'm looking forward to orgranizing our pictures and giving my blog a face lift. :)

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It's been awhile!

I can't believe I haven't blogged since April! I've logged on often and started to blog once or twice but then stopped. The blogging break was needed for me as I was starting to feel like all I blogged about was my health issues and frankly it was depressing....who wants to hear about hospitals all of the time? I think more than that I was so tired of dealing with hospitals and my health issues that I wanted them to go away and was tired of thinking about all of it. So I took a break, am healthy now, and have enjoyed the past few months enjoying life! The summer has been one filled with travel both for work, long weekends with the fam, and a dream trip to Sonoma and Napa with one of my dearest friends. I will have to dedicate a whole post to that trip as it was amazing and everything I hoped it would be. I'm thankful that I haven't been to a hospital in eight weeks, and back on Weight Watchers tracking 100% and working out daily. The boys are growing like crazy and start school in two weeks. Ky will be starting kindergarten and I'm a mess about it! He is getting so big and i'm not ready for him to grow up on me:) We went school supply shopping last night and they were so excited to put all of their items in their backpacks...yes I'm feeling old. This weekend we are enjoying being home and relaxing.  We got up early, which is just the way we roll. I headed off to an early Zumba class, which kicked my butt literally, met a girlfriend for coffee, and have been home since 10:00 just enjoying time with the fam. I'm enjoying a new Cooking Light cookbook my girlfriend Mich bought for me and am going to try a Southwest Rice and Veggie cake recipe tonight for dinner. So far I have four new recipes from this cookbook in my menu plan for this week and can't wait to try all of them. We are planning on going to church tonight which means we can "sleep in" tomorrow. The hubs was awesome and cleaned up the house while I was gone at Zumba so I just need to organize some things and do laundry. I'm on the hunt for some zucchini recipes. When my friend J stopped over for coffee this morning she brought me a huge basket full of potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, and zucchini. I'm stoked! She grows a HUGE garden and brought fresh veggies over for me to share with my mom. Unfortunately until recently I've never made anything with zucchini. So I am on the hunt so something new to try using it. :) If you have any good recipes please share! Well I'm going to go check on my men and brew a k-cup. Tomorrow I'll post all about my trip to CA and share pics. Have a wonderful Saturday! I sure am.

More spring cleaning...and snow?

This weekend has started off to be a wonderful one... Nen introduced me to Zumba couple of weeks ago and I'm hooked! So much so that we were out of the house at 7:15 this morning to go to our zumba toning class and got an awesome workout in!! It was awesome and i'm guessing we will be sore tomorrow! Just a guess:) After Zumba we ran back home got cleaned up had breakfast and took the boys to their swim lessons.. taking them every Sat morning has become one of the highlights of my week. Its been so much fun to watch them get better every week and make so much progress. Today they learned how to tread water and they both looked so darn cute! Afterwards Chad and I decided to continue tackling our spring cleaning list and spent a good part of the afternoon going through tote after tote in their playroom, tossing some, yard sale piles, keep but pack away, and play room ready :) But we finished and it looks awesome! The boys can actually go through all of their toys and not get so overwhelmed. It's always my goal to go through their playroom at least twice a year and I love deep cleaning.. I was hoping to get our upstairs finished today but I think we are still going to have some open items tomorrow... which is fine by me because we are having a wonderful time watching a movie as a family tonight and laughing. I'm all for lounging around in our pjs and watching movies together as a fam...it saves money and still makes for a great family night. I'm trying to multi task and am failing miserabley so until tomorrow have a blessed evening!

A Quiet Friday

This week has been a busy one...but it started off great! Last weekend I got the spring fever bug and went to town around my house cleaning like a crazy women...unfortunately that will carry over to this weekend because I didn't get everything done..but I still enjoy cleaning:) I'm a dork I know. Monday I was able to WFH and went and saw my sweet friend J and her precious new baby girl M. J and I met at work several years ago and became friends fast...she was my WW accountability partner, introduced me to raspberry zinger tea with honey when I was pregnant with Mason and was there for me after he died. Her friendship blessed me during a season of my life when I didn't realize just how much I needed someone to listen. Unfortunately with me working 1.5 hours away now we don't get to see each other as much as I would like and I was quite deliquent in stopping over to see her and her precious baby after she had her, BUT that aside it was great to see the precious baby girl that she had been so excited to have. It's so awesome to see how couples go from being newlyweds to having little families...and embracing parenthood and all that comes with it. I've enjoyed being a mom and watching my babies grow up but i'm also enjoying watching my friends start to have babies of their own and have something else in common. After Monday the week flew! Work has been constant and crazy and good. I feel blessed to be where I am at and even though I've had more tiring days then I'd like to admit I still smile at the end of the day and am thankful for the opportunity.  I closed up shop around 4:30 and headed back home and played a couple of rounds of around the world with Noah and Ky and had a blast! We put together a simple dinner and I made some eggs with peppers and salsa for me. I started a 10 day cleanse using advocare http://www.advocare.com/ on Monday and have really enjoyed it!! I'm already down 5 pounds in the first five days...am still feeling full after eating but have cut out all refined sugar, dairy, and wheat. One days 11-24 I will reintroduce 30% of the foods I eat back into my diet and take MNS and a few other vitamins. And i'm enjoying it...it's natural, healthy, and really helping me refocus on what I am putting into my body. And did I mention i'm on the countown for my Napa vacation in August and South Carolina vacation in October...I want to be back in my cute clothes and feel better about myself..I know with making smart choices and continuing my workouts I can do it. I'm pumped! Ok so back to my Friday evening...did I mention it's quiet? Nena is out at a friend's house spending the night...the boys are bathed and sleeping and Chad is having time with his friends.  And i'm listening to KLOVE and enjoying the quiet time to sit and think.  I have to put my grocery list together and cut coupons and then I think i'm going to find a good movie on Netflix and just enjoy some mommy time. This weekend will be busy but should be fun in the same breath. I'm WFH again on Monday so i'm looking forward to the reprieve.

The Safest Place to Be...

After a week of traveling all over the country I came home and was blessed two spend two of the best days with my little men!! I had surprises planned for each day...and we had a wonderful time uncovering each of them as the day went.  Watching life through the eyes of my boys can often be the most relaxing enjoyable part of my day. And last Mon and Tuesday were no exception. We laughed a lot, talked alot and loved alot! It was wonderful. I relished in the memories being made and the conversations we had. It was a special time just the three of us.  Chad had too work and was bummed he couldn't be with us but he was taking off last Thursday to go out of town and had to tie up lose ends at work. Wed I worked from home and Thursday ended up back in the ER....an hour from home.   Never a dull moment...I was driving to my office in city and breathing became hard quickly..I had been having shortness of breath since Monday but I chalked it up to traveling across the country and my body readjusting to the weather..no biggie right? Wrong...luckily there was a fantastic hospital 7 miles from where I pulled over and Chad stayed on the phone with me until I got to the ER. The doctors were amazing and after doing a chest ct they said I had the start of pneumonia...yikes! I had pneumonia 8 years ago and never thought for a minute I would get it again...especially so quick. So after staying in the hospital all day I left for home that evening...only to talk to my Dr. the next day who said after reviewing my test she thought my lungs showed emphysema changes...yikes again.. I know nothing about emphysema other than people who smoke often get it... (i don't)... The latter part of last week consisted of breathing treatments, meds, and steroids to help remove the inflammation from my lungs... This weekend was rough and i'm just worn down..but praise the Lord I saw my dr again today and she did more x-rays and confirmed I have plearacy and no emphysema...so I am so glad...tired..exhausted...but thankful. 

Chad was gone during all of this...he was actually heading to the airport while I was at the ER but I told him to go...I knew that I would be ok and I was...but exhaustion over took me this weekend. Nen(my sister who lives with us) was a blessing and helped out so much... I was sad because one of our sweet friends had a bridal shower this weekend and her batchlorette party but we couldn't go...BUT the bride to be ( a dear friend of my sisters) and two of the other girls came by to say hi yesterday. And while I frankly wasn't up for company and just wanted to sleep Beth said something to me that brought a huge wave of peace. She was talking about moving to Haiti in May... Her fiance is Haitian and they met when she went there with our church to work with the orphanages we support... Anyhow my sister was asking her if she felt safe living by herself until she got married and her response " The safest place I can be is in His Will and as long as I'm there I'm ok".... Words of wisdom my friends..humbling words...God knew I needed to hear them and boy did they bless me to the core.  So I have been relishing in those words since yesterday and praying fervently....praying for peace and understanding that only He can bring.. If you read my blog often I'm sure you've noticed a trend over the past six months...Health issues galore...one thing after the other and during my prayer time this weekend I specifically asked Him are you telling me to move elsewhere?  I don't know the answers but I do know this...I am thankful for Beth and for the Lord's words that covered my heart.. I'm thankful that I am "In His will".....and am praying for guidance....which I know He will provide as He always has. Now I must open my ears, BE STILL and Listen.... Blessings