Bittersweet

I had been anticipating this past weekend with alot of anxiety. Our dear friends Michelle and Craig had their couples baby shower on Sat. We are so excited for them as they are expecting their first baby boy in Aug. Michelle and I shared with each that we were expecting before we told our families. (Our husband knew of course)... We met for coffee and she told me she was expecting...Chad and I knew we were expecting but were waiting for Christmas to tell anyone...well I then ordered decaf coffee which let it slip out of the bag to Mich. We had a wonderful coffee date and were so excited to be expecting at the same time and be on maternity leave together!!! The planning began, and we really enjoyed several months of comparing cravings, going to movies, and making plans for the summer. Well that all changed when Mason died and I've had a hard time being around her. I'm so excited for them...I really am, but every time I see her I think of Mason...I think I where I should be at in my pregnancy and how close I should be to holding a healthy Mason in my arms. So that all being said I was very anxious for her shower but it was so important for us to go and support her. Well to top things off I had made an appt for Chad and I to go to the cemetary and look at designs for Mason's headstone...the morning of Michelle's shower. I didn't realize I had booked this until I flipped my calendar over last monday... Ugh. But I didn't want to cancel because I've so desperately wanted to pick out a stone for Mason so that it will be there and his plot won't be empty any longer. I've just had such a hard time deciding and thought if Chad and I went together to see more options it would make the decision process easier. Well we went and I left more frustrated then I was before. I had copies made of the choices I liked but still couldn't make a decision. We went and visited Mason and then my mom was wonderful and kept the boys for a couple of hours longer so Chad and I could have some breathing time before we had to get ready for the shower.

The shower was beautiful! God truly gave me a peace and helped me keep it together. We saw a lot of good friends and enjoyed watching Michelle and Craig open their gifts and talk about Conner's arrival.

Sunday I took the boys and we went home (to chicago) to my aunt and uncle's for the day. I spent almost every weekend there when I first moved to Wisconsin and consider their home my home. My cousin graduated from high school and they had his grad party. It was so wonderful! We went early and the boys and I played in their pool. My aunt rented a bouncy house for the kids and they loved it!!! It had been too long since I've been home and I really enjoyed catching up with everyone. My aunt was so sweet and had a bag to send home with me, which had my favorite gourmet coffee, Harry and David Jam, Pasta, and a few boxes of different mixes that look so yummy. I need to go back soon and spend more time with them.

Then yesterday came and I got the flu...not fun at all!! My mom and sis had it for over a week and i'm pretty sure I got it from my sis on Sun. I was hoping it was just a 24 hour bug and would go away quickly but I woke up today feeling even worse then I did yesterday. Work is so busy right now and I'm hating not being there because there is so much going on for me to be out a couple of days.... I know I need to let myself get better but I don't like being sick, or stuck at home without energy to do anything. To me it's just a waste of a day. If I am going to be home I'd much rather be working on cleaning projects or something productive instead of just being in bed. Oh well.

I'm hoping to feel better quickly because I was looking forward to having a three day weekend this weekend for the 4th!!! I'm planning on making a Trader Joe's run to pick up a few things on Friday and then enjoy the weekend with the fam. Sun we are going to my mom's for a cookout which will be a blast. I'm hoping to do something fun with the boys but don't know what yet and it all depends on how i'm feeling. I hope the boys don't get this. Poor Chad slept on the couch last night and was so sweet about making sure I'm staying hydrated...food doesn't even sound appealing right now... Well I don't mean to sound like Debbie Downer but that's what's going on in my neck of the woods. I will leave you some pics of the boys... they are getting so big!!