Praying for peace

Tonight I'm headed to the airport and flying out early in the morning! I'm praying I can fall asleep once I get to the hotel. I've been nervous all day and trying to keep my mind occupied. We had a great day with the boys laying low, playing games and just enjoying being together. I did a ton of laundry so Chad doesn't hve to worry about it while I'm gone. I finished packing and re packing and them we went out to dinner because I couldn't stop pacing...lol. My boss and a co worker are flying with me to sc but I'm staying there longer and flying by myself back home. I know in my heart that God is wiser than I am and I know he knows all of my days and while I should find peace I'm that I can't get my head and heart to be in sync and a peace. Quite honestly I don't think it would be so bad if I didn't have my boys but the thought of not being there for them scares me. Please pray for me..that God will give me peace and calmness. It's been so wonderful being home for the past several week but now I'm gone for the next two weeks and I'm strugglig with that. Thankfully I will be home this Sunday but have to leave again on Monday. The great thing is that I will be off for four days in a row the week my sister gets married and I can't wait! We will be taking family pics as this will be the first time in over three years that we will all be together and I can't wait! Well I hope everyone had a wonderful memorial day weeknd. I know we did an are eapecially thankful for all of the men and women who serve our country!

6years and P90:)

This weekend the hubby and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary and I enjoyed every minute of our day together. We packed a picnic lunch and headed up north to go hiking for several hours and had a wonderful time together, not to mention a great work out! We talked, laughed, and talked some more. It was warm, sunny, and full of heart filled memories. My favorite part was our picnic lunch by the lake. We drove home and I took a nap them we went to a really nice place for dinner. As we spent the day reflecting on things I thought back to where we spent our anniversary last year. We went away to tennessee and losing mason was still fresh on our minds and hearts. Last year at this time I couldn't get through a day without crying, I had shutdown, and was grasping to find peace. This year as I look back to all we've been through the past year I'm thankful to be where I am at. My heart it full of joy and peace. I'm more in love with my husband then I could possibly imagine! I look into his eyes and my heart still melts. We have been talking and praying for months and have both decided we went to expand our family and plan on trying after my sisitwr gets married next month. We've had some great talks about another baby, some filled with tears, some with smiles, and others revolving around chads concerns of what if. We both agree that God knows where we are and He is the same today as he was yesterday and last year. Not going to lie and say I'm not the least bit nervous because I am, but Im trusting him to be by our side every step of the way. Now I'm more focused then ever to be in better phsical shape.... I was in such better shape last summer which is kind of frustrating, BUT the hubby and I just started doing P90 today and I'm stoked to see how this joirney progresses. We took all of our measurments and pictures! Now I can't wait for our 30 day picture to see the changes. Here is to a great Monday!

Can't sleep

For the past three days I have woken up out of a dead sleep at 2am....and have felt the need to just pray...and so I have. I've tried to go back to sleep each night and just can't..tonight has been no exception. I switched the laundry over, will probaly head to the kitchen shortly, and plan on going for an early jog at 4am :) But my heart is praying and seeking God's direction and waiting. I've never felt so confident of where I am in life but also feel like He is talking to me to do more and He has my full attention. A few weeks ago I mentioned I had a great idea laid on my heart by the Holy Spirit and I've continued to pray for the past few weeks for confirmation and without a doubt I know this is what he wants me to do for Him at the moment. I've been taking quilting classes since Feb. and am loving it but more than that I've had a desire to use that hobby to serve Him. Haiti has long been on my heart as our church works closely with two orphanages in Haiti and has built a hospital, and sends groups there every couple of months. My sister, her fiance, and several of our friends left Haiti the day the big quake hit last year. Since then God has laid the people of Haiti on my heart Heavily! I'm going to make a quilt and sell it....taking all of money and donating it to our mission fund for Haiti. I've thought of making quilts for the orphans we support but they are living in tents right now and I think I could make more money for them by making a quilt and auctioning it off...what do you think? I've never done this before so i'm not sure if I should sell it on ebay...by word of mouth, make a button for my blog, but regardless i'm going to start sewing and get this quilt made. I know He will take care of the details as the quilt is completed. As my morning begins i'm thankful for His patience with me, for his Grace, and for the cross. More and more I've been reminded this week of whose in control and I can tell you right now it's not me. I was driving home last night and heard this.. "i'm not in control, He is,and His wisdom far surpases mine, and because of that I will put my full trust in Him. And I knew I was meant to hear that because I have been struggling with my fear of flying ever since I drove back from SC. I have to fly back the first week in June and then to Kansas City the following week and i've been dreading it...because of course I won't be in control and someone else will be. But then I heard the above blurp on K-Love and God gently reminded me that He can handle my insecurities.

Veggie Tales and Quilting

I'm so glad that Spring is here! It has been so nice having the sun out longer, the snow is gone, flowers are planted, and we are enjoying our time together! Chad and I are taking Friday off and having a date day! I'm so looking forward to it. We are traveling to Cedarburg and enjoying the shops and dining! So far I've found a quilting shop, scrapbook shop, pottery place, crepe restaurant, and a winery I went to in the fall. That's what started my fascination with this town. My girlfriend and I toured 13 wineries one weekend and went to the one in Cedarburg...it's the cutest town but we only had time to visit the winery and pottery shop. I've been dying to go back and explore more and Chad has been asking for us to do something fun so there we go! :) I'm definately looking forward to our talks...we always have great ones when we drive. We talk about memories as a child and so many random things..it's great! Saturday we are going with our dear friends to Chicago to show them around the city. They are heading back to Texas next month and have wanted to go and explore. So a few fun filled days ahead and Sunday we will be relaxing with our little men after church and just enjoy being together.
Speaking of my little men...last week I came across a veggie tales devotion for kids that I bought two years ago...At the time the boys weren't old enough to understand the stories but they are at the perfect age right now. I started reading them a story every night before bed followed but the questions they have in the devo. They love it and I've so enjoyed having this special time with them. I can't believe how big they are getting! We had Noah's kindergarden orientation last week and I'm on the verge of tears just thinking about him being in school all day!
In my spare time...which has been limited I have been quilting and loving every minute of it! I just finished my third quilt and will be posting pics soon! I have two more quilts going, one I just started and one i'm finishing up. There just aren't enough hours in the day but this has been something i've always wanted to learn how to do and I'm so thankful for the opportunity that dropped in my lap. At class tonight i dropped of my quilt i've been working on for my friend Dawn who just got married. It should be done next week and then I just have to do the binding.
Well that's the beginning of my week in a nutshell:)

Friday!

I can't even begin to tell you just how happy I am that it is Friday! It has been a week~!! I knew last Thursday that this week was going to be a bear with work and it was but it was also great in that I worked out 4 times already with one of them being 5:15 this morning! Yeah! I'm feeling so refreshed and just motivated which has been such a blessing. Today i'm working from home and I just love it. Being able to sit on my love seat in my yoga pants with my cup of coffee and work makes my week. It's nice not to have the contstant interuptions and I am able to crank through so much email! This weekend is a busy but fun one. Tonight my mom and girlfriend J are coming over for Bible Study. My friend J was in Japan for three weeks so we haven't met in three weeks and I'm just so excited to have fellowship with them tonight and get in the word. I'm making weight watchers pita pizzas with hummus, low fat cheese, peppers, and mushrooms for dinner. I'm hoping the weather stays nice so we can enjoy Bible study on my deck. In the years past I haven't had any problems with my allergies but this spring I've been sneezing up a storm!! I think it has something to do with the pollen levels being so high....but i'm ready for the sneezing to stop! :) Tomorrow i'm going to Chicago with my sister to look for her wedding shoes and our bridesmaid shoes which should be fun. I'm trying to think of something fun to do with the boys in the afternoon and then Sunday we have church and hopefully relaxing as a family. I'm planning on getting a longer workout in tonight after the boys go to bed and hopefully squeeze in some quilting. Chad and I took the boys hiking yesterday and had a blast. We hiked to a little creek and found a lot of frogs and the boys were fascinated. Between throwing rocks, finding "dinosaur fossils" and frogs it was a memorable evening! Well that's me in a nut shull for today. I have a ton of notes from church last week and can't wait to share but will need a bit more time to relay the awesome sermon we heard last week. Happy Friday!

From East to West- And my 100th post!

What a whirlwind of a week. Monday morning I left early for South Carolina. I was flying on a small jet....and I'm not a good flier. Don't get me wrong...I fly alot more in the past year, than I have in a long time. But I don't like. I don't like not have "control"...for those of you who read my blog regulary i'm sure you know that. :) Flying is no exception....I don't like not being on the ground, and I don't like turbulence... but I've been working on my fear and praying about it alot! Monday's flight went well...landed just find and headed to my families place in Senecca. My business meetings were about 45 minutes from where they live but all of my meetings were moved to Tuesday so I had the afternoon/evening to spend time with them and I loved every minute of it. I hadn't seen my aunt in years and it was great to see my Grams. She normally comes out here once a year and it was such a treat to be able to see their home. My grandma loves to quilt and since I'm fairly new to quilting we have enjoyed comparing notes, mostly me asking a lot of questions:) We had chicken salad for lunch which was amazing! My aunt made it from scratch and it was delicious. I had to work for a bit but afterwards they drove me around their town and took me to this cute resteraunt on a dock and we had appetizers and a couple glasses of wine and just talked. I loved it! Afterwards we went back to their place and I headed for my hotel. My meetings were the next day and I would fly back home shortly thereafter. I was rather dissapointed because my cousin Rebecca, her husband, and three kids live three blocks from my aunt, uncle, and Grams but they were in Charleston for Easter/spring break and weren't going to be back until Tuesday. I haven't seen Rebecca in 15 years but we have always been so close. Tuesday I spent much of the late afternoon at the airport working waiting for my plane...another small jet. As soon as we took off I knew something was wrong....we took off but didn't get up as high as we should have...this I knew because we were still below the clouds minutes after take off..and the plane felt like it was gliding...then the pilot called the flight attendent and I watched her eyes get big...and my heart sank. Two of my biggest fears is dying in a plane or drowning. She got on the phone and told us the plane was having mechanical problems, the pilot was on the phone with ATC, and they were going to TRY to get back to the airport. That is when I lost it. I looked at the man in front of me with his head in his hand...the lady next to me looked like a ghost and I just cried...thankful I had told my boys just how much I love them...thankful I told Chad I loved him...and then I started talking to God....asking for forgiveness for all of the wrong I have done and how sorry I was for not doing everything I should have this side of eternity. I couldn't see out the window so I kept asking the lady next to me if she could see the airport or landing strip and she told me she wasn't sure what she saw...the plane was still low and I was afraid he was going to try and land on the highway...but then he turned the plane and we made it to the runway....and I wept....They deplaned us and took all of the luggage off and I was shaking.....and couldn't stop. So thankful to be on the ground and just wanted to hear Chad's voice. I think I called him every 10 minutes that first hour...poor guy. The airport staff was trying to rebook everyone on connecting flights but I knew I couldn't get on a plane right then...I just couldn't. I called my boss, got a rental car and headed back to my aunt and uncles. I decided that I would drive home...crazy I know...but that's what I needed to do for me. I wasn't emotionally ready to get back on a plane...rationally I know that thousands of planes fly a day and the chances of my next flight having mechanical problems were slim to none but I just couldn't get all of the pictures out of my head of my time in the air...and need some time. I spent the next day in Senecca and it was a blessing. When I drove back Tuesday evening I went to my cousins and had dinner with everyone and it was great! I got to meet my cousins three kids who are precious and just enjoyed being with family. I worked all day Wed and then Wed night had dinner with everyone again and just talked. Thurs morning I got up at 4am and started the 14 hour drive home...and it went well. I still can't believe I drove from SC to Chicago to WI in one day but I did and it was great. I had a lot of time to think, talk to God, pray, enjoy talking to friends/family and thinking alot! I rolled in last night around 8 and crashed!!! I gave the boys and Chad big hugs and was just to thankful to be home safely. I worked from home today and we took the boys to see "How to train a dragon" and loved it! I'm not much for cartoon movies but I just loved it and will definately be buying it when it comes out on DVD. Now Chad is going to grill turkey burgers, then it's bedtime for the boys and I'm hoping to muster some energy to quilt, but I don't know...i'm still pretty tired. So there is my week in a nutshell and today is my 100th post!!! It's hard to believe I've posted that many times. As look back at different posts I'm thankful for this blog for so many reasons! It's become a place for me to put my thoughts down, write special memories, reflect on life and all that is happening. I've also made some new friends, and at the end of the day just want to be used for His plan. I have many inperfections but am enjoying being molded by the Potter!

He is Risen!

What an amazing couple of days! As Easter approached this year I have been reflecting on all that Jesus did for us...and have been humbled to tears! I was thinking about him on that cross.....hanging there with thorns on his head...nails in his feet and hands and just cry. He did that for me.....and for all of us. He took all of my sins...past, present, and future and died for them! I've been thinking alot about Mary today and how hard it must have been for her to see her "son" on the cross. I can't even begin to imagine what must have been going through her head...was she at peace, was she screaming...how did she feel when she went to his tomb the next day....and then again when she saw him again? There aren't many times in history that I wish I was alive during but that time would have been one of them. To touch his hands, be at his feet, hear his voice. Im in awe and oh so thankful for the sacrifice He made for us. I'm thankful that I can live my life with hope that I will see Him one day. Today has been wonderful! The boys and I planted some flowers today...and i'm so excited to watch them bloom! Tulips, lilies, and more lilies! I can't wait. We then went to my in laws where the boys did an easter egg hunt, had lunch, read the Easter story, and all came home for a much needed nap! I'm getting ready to head to SC for business tomorrow and would honestly rather just be home. I'm not even motivated to pack! I'm only going to be gone two days and I'm glad it's a short trip because i'm missing my family already!. Here are a few of my favorite pics from our day today! Enjoy.